Grass muppet

There was a brief lull in the constant rain so I mowed the back yard and used the new weed wacker to finally clean up around all the edges. When I was done I was covered in grass. Head to toe covered, like I had green fur. And after I finished cleaning out the underside of the lawn mower which was clogged with wet grass pulp, my hands and nails were stained bright green. Without thinking I wiped the sweat off the sides of my face and forehead which left my face streaked with green. Everybody cuts the grass, everyone. I have never seen a single other person turn into Oscar the Grouch or the Creature from the Black Green Lagoon in the process. I took off my now emerald green sneakers and went inside to clean the grass bits out of my ears. Grouch indeed.